


In These Dreams, It's You; Chanbaek

by kwanies



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: ChanBaek - Freeform, Dreams and Nightmares, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Pining, another episode of i'm bad at tagging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:40:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22056424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kwanies/pseuds/kwanies
Summary: In which Baekhyun is a dreamer, and Chanyeol could do with a good night's sleep, for once.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 43
Kudos: 182





	In These Dreams, It's You; Chanbaek

**Author's Note:**

> literally this whole thing is just baekhyun being oblivious and pining after chanyeol. it’s very soft and almost kind of sad but they’re both precious and love each other a lot. that’s it. that’s the story lol
> 
> no but in all seriousness !!! i literally only recently started stanning exo properly and fell so hard for this pairing - it's my first time writing them, and i'm just hoping i didn't butcher it. i hope you like it !!!

> "In the dream I don’t tell anyone, I’m afraid to wake you up
> 
> In these dreams it’s always you:
> 
> The boy in the sweatshirt
> 
> The boy on the bridge, the boy who always keeps me
> 
> From jumping off the bridge
> 
> Oh, the things we invent when we are scared and want to be rescued."

The garden of Baekhyun’s apartment isn’t actually much of a garden - there’s an oversized ledge, almost like a separate rooftop, which extends outwards from the balcony of the second floor where he resides. There’s more moss than flowers, fuzzy green and soft against Baekhyun’s bare feet.

Something in the night lulls him; it tugs on his eyelids, makes his whole body feel slack in the lawn chair he’s sitting in. It could be the moon - she’s beautiful tonight, full and yellow and smiling down at him. Maybe the stars, keeping her company. The way the wind rustles the pine trees and leaves goosebumps along his legs.

Or, it could be Chanyeol. Because Chanyeol reaches out to graze his arm with an impossibly slight touch, and it leaves Baekhyun swooning, leaning into the midnight air.

“We should hang out like this more often.”

“It’s cold as shit, Chanyeol.”

The boy looks over at him pointedly, removing his hand (disappointingly) and picking up his beer. “That just means you haven’t had enough to drink, I think.”

A drink sounds nice. Really nice, actually, but Baekhyun knows he can’t afford it. He knows it’ll lead to more touching, because Chanyeol gets sloppily handsy when he’s drunk, and he knows they’ll get as close as whispering in each other’s ears and no further. It’s routine, by this point. Chanyeol will tell some lame dirty joke while gripping Baekhyun’s thigh and then fall asleep in his bed an hour later. He’s told himself a million times not to get his hopes up when this happens, and a million times he’s ended up disappointed anyway.

It actually depends on which angle you look at it from - because, honestly, Chanyeol grabbing his thigh and then spending the night in his bed  _ isn’t _ that disappointing. What sucks is the  _ wanting _ , always wanting more. Baekhyun wants more than some lingering touch, he wants a touch that won’t go away; he doesn’t want sleeping back to back, he wants cuddles and a warm breath on his neck. A kiss would be nice, a hand in his hair, holding the back of his neck, holding his face, his chest, his -

Chanyeol puts his hand back on Baekhyun’s arm.

“Did you shower before I came over?”

“Uh, yeah?”

“Your hair looks soft.”

Without warning, Chanyeol moves his hand to play with the messy hair hanging in front of Baekhyun’s eyes. He didn’t comb it after washing, so it dried looking like an electrocuted hedgehog or something. But Chanyeol calls it cute, he says it’s as soft as it looks, and  _ only _ because he’s tipsy, Baekhyun lets himself melt into the feeling of Chanyeol’s hand, now against the side of his head.

“Baekhyun?” Chanyeol whispers after a while of quiet, and he whispers it so softly. His words float over the air and tickle Baekhyun’s neck, feather-light.

“Y-Yeah?”

“I haven’t been sleeping well lately.”

“Why not?” Baekhyun turns to him without thinking, letting the hand fall, and scours the boy’s face with overwhelming concern. Chanyeol looks embarrassed. A small (not-so-small) thing tucking his hands between his thighs, looking up at the sky instead of Baekhyun’s face. That deep blue velvet, that soft, comforting vastness - but Baekhyun doesn’t care about it. He grabs Chanyeol’s wrist, asks him, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothin’ important. It’s really dumb, actually, I don’t wanna stress you out.”

“I’ll stress more if you don’t tell me.”

Still without looking, Chanyeol mumbles so Baekhyun has to struggle to make out his words. “Stupid nightmares. I thought they went away for good.”

He’s silent for a long time. Chanyeol’s wrist barely fits with his small hand wrapped around it, but the feeling of a pulse, the steady thrumming underneath the skin, is what comforts Baekhyun. Eventually, he says, “You probably shouldn’t be drinking before bed, then.”

“But drinking is fun,” Chanyeol whines.

“You can have fun without it.” Baekhyun stands, trying to pull Chanyeol up with him. “Come on, I’ll make you some tea and we can watch movies on my laptop until we crash. That sound good?”

Chanyeol looks hesitant, moving to stand oh-so-slowly -  _ achingly _ slow when all Baekhyun can think about is the two of them under blankets with their legs tangled together, watching some shitty romcom. He makes it to his feet, though, and follows Baekhyun inside, drinks left behind and forgotten.

Baekhyun forces Chanyeol into bed, tasking him with picking out the first movie while he goes to brew some chamomile. When he comes back, the boy is looking at him with the purest expression he thinks he’s ever seen - wide-eyed and waiting, with those eyes that are crystal clear despite the fact that he’s intoxicated. His smile is lopsided, and Baekhyun thinks probably for the thousandth time that week that Chanyeol’s lopsided smile would feel so  _ nice _ against his.

He thinks it, but he doesn’t act on it. What he does is this: hand Chanyeol his mug, tell him  _ careful, it’s really hot _ , and delicately climb into the space next to him.  _ Roman Holiday _ is the film pulled up, and Baekhyun knows that Chanyeol knows it’s one of his favorites. He pretends not to feel his heart skip a beat when the boy rests his head on his shoulder.

Because yes, Chanyeol is the type of guy to sidestep cracks in the sidewalk because he says he loves his mother, and yes, he’s the type who’ll look at newly sprouted plants in their pots and smile fondly. Yes, he laughs so loud you can see it in his chest, bursting, and he compliments the barista who serves him his coffee and the librarian who checks out his book; Chanyeol takes random pictures of his best friends because he likes to see them happy, and he rambles about his favorite things and he blushes and stutters when he’s flustered (which is a lot). He picks movies knowing that the other person will like them and asks if they’re comfortable when he leans against them.

Baekhyun pretends his heart isn’t expanding in his chest when Chanyeol’s breathing slows against him, because yes, Chanyeol is so kind and so full of love, love, love - but he doesn’t love Baekhyun, and that’s simply how it is.

+

Baekhyun dreams about the time he and Chanyeol went to an aquarium with the rest of their friends, because it was the grand opening and Junmyeon begged like a baby. At one point, he remembers, they split from the rest to go down a separate hallway where the walls and ceiling were made of glass, and they could see all the fish swimming around them inside the enclosure.

In real life, Chanyeol pointed up at the ugliest fish he could find and said, “Hey, Baek, that one’s you.” In this dream, he looks at a starfish, and he says, “You’re the prettiest star, Baekhyun.”

In this dream, Baekyhun isn’t shy and cautious, but he’s forward. He kisses Chanyeol on the cheek, he holds his hand. He’s about to say something, he can feel his mouth opening, but then -

“Hey, Baek? Baekhyun?”

“Hnhg, what issit … “

He’s not dreaming anymore, he’s half-awake, and someone is shaking his shoulder.

“Please wake up, please, please … “

The second he registers the voice as belonging to Chanyeol, he shoots up, startling the other with how fast and suddenly wide-awake he is. “What, what? What’s the matter?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t - I really didn’t wanna wake you up, but - “ Chanyeol breaks off mid-sentence. Baekhyun can’t see through the darkness, but he hears a sound like someone choking, swallowing down the rest of his words. “It happened again. I freaked out, I shouldn’t have woken you up, I’m sorry - “

This time, it’s Baekhyun who interrupts him.

He moves forward, engulfing the boy in a hug. He squeezes Chanyeol like a sponge, wringing out all the fear and anxiety as best as he can. “You don’t have to tell me what it was about,” he murmurs, “and you don’t have to apologize. I’m right here, I got you.”

He holds on until he can feel Chanyeol relax in his arms, and he hears him say, “Thanks, Baek. You’re too good to me.”

“No, I just - “

He stops. Rights himself. Squeezes harder.

“It’s what friends are for, Chanyeol. Always.”

+

That next morning is a different story. There are no more stars in the sky to keep them company, there’s no more protection to be found in the inky nighttime. It’s light, light pouring through an open window, and Baekhyun too scared to move in case he wakes Chanyeol up. The day feels like a mix of oranges and yellows; it feels warm on his bare skin, but that could also just be Chanyeol pressed up against him.

“I hate you Park Chanyeol.” He mumbles it to himself, taking irony to the gut because he  _ knows _ he could never hate Chanyeol, knows that too much love just means frustration on his part.

He doesn’t realize Chanyeol’s actually awake to hear it until he says, “Why do you hate me?” and Baekhyun’s pulse freezes.

“Because you’re tall as shit,” he lies, “and you hog the blanket to accommodate your giant genes.”

“Ha, ha.”

Chanyeol’s morning voice is soft, groggy. It’s got a rough edge to it from hours of not being used. Baekhyun thinks it’s like tissue paper torn in half - still delicate, always delicate.

“You wanna get up?” he asks.

“I wanna lay here a little longer.”

“Okay.”

“Thanks for letting me steal your bed space.” Chanyeol pulls the covers up to his mouth, muffling his words. “And your beauty sleep. I know that’s important to you.”

_ It’s not _ , Baekhyun wants to say,  _ not as important as you _ . That probably wouldn’t go over too well, though, would it? So he settles for a scoff. “Yeah, the things I do for you, Park. You think looking this good comes easy?”

“I would imagine it doesn’t,” Chanyeol quips back. He turns on his side so they can face each other, and even though his mouth is still covered, Baekhyun can make out the ghost of a smile behind the sheet, the mirth in his eyes. He wants to puke.

Baekhyun would probably trade the world to wake up every morning like this. At the same time, he can’t help thinking it’s some sort of curse. Like whatever god that’s out there is looking down at him and his stupid crush, laughing at him and putting him in these situations.

“What do you have planned today?” Chanyeol asks. “Jongdae was thinking we could go for lunch.”

“He was probably only asking you, though.”

“We’re all friends, aren’t we? He’s not going to mind if you come along.”

Baekhyun thinks about it a little too long, maybe, but eventually nods.  _ Anything to draw out the time spent with you.  _ “Yeah, okay. Why not?”

+

“Why.”

It’s Jongdae who says it, coming out more like an exasperated statement than a question. “Baek, I love you, you know that - “

“Of course.”

“ - but have you ever thought that maybe I don’t  _ enjoy _ third-wheeling to you and Chanyeol?”

He blinks, caught by surprise. There’s a warmth crawling along the back of his neck, and he’s suddenly  _ so _ glad for the fact that Chanyeol got up to use the restroom, because if he were here to hear this Baekhyun would be in  _ flames _ .

“Wh-What are you talking about?” he stutters, and Jongdae tsks. 

“Dumbass, you know.”

“I literally don’t.”

Jongdae relents. He stares hard at the table, palms facing forward like two stubborn, childish stop signs. “Every time it’s the two of you together, it’s - it’s like, what the hell, you know?”

“That’s a horrible description. No, I don’t know.”

“I mean, you both have your inside jokes and whatnot - and, and that’s fine, I get it - but  _ Christ _ . The way you look at each other? Like you hung the moon up in Chanyeol’s name, and he lit every star in the sky just for you. Like you’re so, so  _ whipped _ for each other. And that’s cool! Totally cool, I support you guys - but when I can start to feel you playing footsie under the table while I’m  _ still here _ \- it’s a little too much.”

All Baekhyun can do is stare, shocked. He has no idea where this is coming from - Jongdae’s never so much as insinuated a thing between him and Chanyeol - but now it’s got him wondering, is he really that obvious? To the point of making other people uncomfortable?

“Oh, God,” he starts, but promptly shuts his mouth when Chanyeol slides back into the seat across from him.

“What’d I miss?” he asks, glancing between the two. “Baek looks like he just saw a ghost.”

Baekhyun’s about to say something, cover himself before the embarrassment has a chance to get worse, but Jongdae beats him to it.

“I told him that hotdogs are made out of pig assholes.”

“Ugh, really? I thought everyone knew that?”

It takes him a moment to catch on, but then Baekhyun is stammering, going along with the act. “Well, I - I mean, I didn’t! No one ever told me!” A lie, obviously.  _ Everyone _ knows hotdogs are made out of pig assholes, duh. He’s starting to feel bad about the amount of times he has to lie to Chanyeol in a day.

He catches Jongdae’s eye and can’t even bring himself to look annoyed. He’s lost, hopeless, and the pitying look he gets in response tells him that it’s clear.

+

_ If _ what Jongdae said was true - well, shouldn’t there be some sign of it? Baekhyun can look in the mirror and pick out the lovesickness in his eyes, he can see it on his skin; it tinges him purple and green with heart-shaped bruises, aches all across his body. He can see it clear as day. But there’s never been any sign of reciprocation, as far as he can tell.

There’s a quote like, to be loved means to be consumed, and to love means to radiate with inexhaustible light. Baekhyun can see his limbs alight when Chanyeol touches him, like he’s glowing from the inside out - but he’s never felt himself be consumed. Maybe he just doesn’t know what it feels like to be consumed. Maybe that’s just poetry, and it’s not supposed to make sense, anyway.

Maybe Chanyeol just doesn’t love Baekhyun the way Baekhyun loves him. That seems to be the most likely explanation.

Still, he can’t help thinking. Later that night, long after they’ve parted, Chanyeol texts him.

> _ i had a dream last night, after the nightmare. i didn’t tell you about it because i thought it might be weird, but it was kind of strange and i feel like maybe it would be interesting to share now _
> 
> _ so i’m just gonna tell you lol _
> 
> _ i was standing alone in a field and there was a lot of dead grass all around, and everything felt really dark and empty and i started to freak because i thought it was another bad one _
> 
> _ but then something happened _
> 
> _ it was kind of like watching an egg hatch, except i was the egg and my body was splitting open down the middle and i was watching myself from third person pov and i could see that inside me was all this light _
> 
> _ it was like the sun lived inside me or smth and all of a sudden i was just letting it all out, and it went on for so long _
> 
> _ sounds stupid right? idk _
> 
> _ but yeah that’s it. goodnight baek <3 _

Baekhyun falls asleep that night clutching his pillow, something like liquid gold in his veins. Hope, maybe, but he doesn’t want to believe in it too much.

+

Baekhyun doesn’t want to think about Chanyeol and his puppy-dog grin, his big and shiny eyes. His hair curling around his ears, soft and messy, his cheeks. His whole face. His body, with his strong arms and then some. Baekhyun doesn’t want to think about any of it, but it’s nearly consumed his entire conscience.

He thinks about it in the morning, once he’s washed the sleep out of his eyes. While he’s working, reading, watching TV -  _ I bet Chanyeol would like this movie  _ \- when he’s scrolling through Twitter and cleaning his apartment and watering the plants along his windowsill and -

Well, he thinks about Chanyeol a lot, needless to say. He wouldn’t if he could help it, though! Believe it.

“Hey?”

“Hey.” 

“Any reason why you’re calling me at three in the morning?”

“Making plans to visit my parents tomorrow,” he explains shortly, already embarrassed with himself. “Aaand …. I know my mom misses seeing you.”

“She does?”

“Mm-hmm. She told me so.”

“So … ?”

“So … do you wanna come with? Just for the day, but I get it if you’re busy.”

“Are you really doing this for your mom?” Baekhyun can hear the teasing in Chanyeol’s tone, practically see his cheeky smile. He huffs.

“Yeah. Kind of. Okay, so I was just thinking about you, and I thought you might enjoy it - sue me. But my mom really  _ would _ like to have you.”

There’s a quiet buzz along the line when Chanyeol doesn’t answer right away, and Baekhyun winces. Was that weird? Should he not have said it? Fuck.

“ … You were just thinking about me?”

“Don’t make fun of me for being a good friend.” Baekhyun tries to make it snap, but he knows there’s no real bite to it. His voice even wobbles, for God’s sake.

“I’m not making fun of you,” Chanyeol says, sounding serious. “I think that’s sweet.”

“You’re sweet.” Baekhyun  _ swears _ he didn’t mean to say that out loud.

“I am?”

“Er, do you want to come or not? No pressure. If you’re busy, it’s fine. Even if you’re not busy, it’s fine. You don’t have to waste the day, really, I just thought - “

Chanyeol cuts him off with a laugh. It’s full and loud over speakerphone, and Baekhyun’s heart jumps in time with the sound of it. “Baek, shut up, I’d love to go.”

Beakhyun tries not to sound breathless, because this isn’t something to be breathless over. “Really?”

“Yeah, why not? I’ve visited your family with you before, it’s always fun.”

“Oh - Okay.”

“Are you alright? You sound kind of weird.”

“I do?” He can’t help it, Baekhyun thinks. Sometimes he can control himself, keep his voice steady and keep a normal conversation; but pretty boys make him nervous, and late nights make him emotional, and pretty boys and late nights put  _ together _ equals absolute an social atrocity on Baekhyun’s end. He laughs, though, tries to smooth out the syllables on his tongue.

“I’m just tired, I need to sleep … Speaking of, why are you up?”

“Ah, not tired.”

“You sure about that?”

“Would I lie?”

“Mm, probably. I know you better.” Chanyeol sighs, and that’s admission enough. Baekhyun pouts even if there’s no one there to see it. “You need to sleep, Chanyeol.”

“I  _ can’t _ . I’m so scared that I - that I’ll - “

“Take a hot shower and make yourself some tea, okay? Tuck yourself in, maybe watch something nice before you doze off. Your brain will thank you for it.”

“No it won’t,” Chanyeol whines, “my brain hates me.”

“Of course it doesn’t, nobody hates you … “ a quiet ensues, and Baekhyun grips his phone tighter. “Do you want me to come over?”

“No.” The response is immediate, automatic, and okay,  _ ouch _ . Baekhyun frowns. “I mean, no, not no - I mean, yes no - I, uh. God. Sorry, I’m not good at talking right now. I just mean that … no, like, I’m not going to drag you out of your apartment for this. It’s stupid. I shouldn’t be getting so worked up over a couple of nightmares, anyway.”

“It’s not stupid,” Baekhyun says, softly. “I get it. You don’t always need what you think is a good reason to be scared, Chanyeol, sometimes you just are. And that’s fine. I want to help, either way.”

“You help too much. Take care of yourself, put yourself first.”

_ Oh my God, oh my God I love you.  _ Baekhyun has to swallow down his feelings before they can come bubbling up over the edge, spilling down in long waterfalls of vulnerable and fond.

“I do put myself first. You know, this isn’t an inconvenience to me.”

“Stay home, Baek. I know you’re so selfless and amazing and like, the best friend ever, but it’s fine. I’ll be fine. I’ll do what you said, okay?”

Baekhyun hesitates. He starts to wonder what part of him is doing this selfishly - what part of him really wants to be there  _ for _ Chanyeol, and what part simply wants to be  _ with _ Chanyeol for his own pleasure. He thinks it’s a mix of the two.

“Okay,” he relents. “But if you wake up at  _ all _ during the night - I don’t care what it is - text me, yeah? Or call, I’ll pick up.”

“You’re a saint, you know that?”

“I’m not,” Baekhyun sighs. “I just want you to be happy.”

+

Chanyeol doesn’t end up calling later that night, but he calls in the morning to figure out what time he should be ready for Baekhyun to pick him up.

“Two hours okay?”

“Anytime is okay.” Baekhyun grins.

“Great. I’ll text when I’m on my way.”

Baekhyun feels like a plushie when he wears his massive hoodies; not to suck his own dick, but he thinks he looks pretty cute.

He knows the way his heart swoops when he sees Chanyeol with messed up hair and too-big clothing. It makes him look smaller than Baekhyun knows he really is, so much more huggable than he already is. So he gets lazy with fixing his hair and throws on the comfiest outfit he owns and just hopes, in the dumber, more optimistic bit of his heart, that maybe Chanyeol will think the same of him. He tries not to cringe when he looks himself over in the mirror.

+

Chanyeol hops into the car with a shiver. He shuts the door and shakes his shoulders a little, leaning in a little too close, close enough for Baekhyun to feel his breath fanning his face.

“Chilly out today,” he says, blowing on his hands, and Baekhyun hopes the hearts shooting out of his eyes aren’t noticeable. Chanyeol’s got on a dark patterned sweater with sleeves that go past the palms of his hands, and he looks at Baekhyun with glittering eyes. “Do I look okay?”  _ You look kissable _ is the first thought that occurs to Baekhyun, but he clears his throat and reaches out to fix Chanyeol’s hair. Brushing a bit of lint off the boy’s shoulder, he sighs.

“What if I told you no?”

“Then I’d go back inside and change.” Baekhyun laughs.

“It’s only my parents, not a big deal. You could show up wearing a garbage bag and they’d still be crazy to see you.”

“But I wanna keep up a good impression,” he pouts - and the pout is heart rending. “I want them to keep liking me as much as you say they do.”

“Well, you’ve got nothing to worry about,” Baekhyun reassures him while starting the car back up. “You look great. You always do.” Out of the corner of his eye, he thinks he can see Chanyeol stare at him a little too long before answering.

“Thanks. You do, too.”

Baekhyun clears his throat, changing the subject before his face can get too red. “How’d you sleep after our call last night?”

“Mm. Fine.”

“Fine?”

“Yeah. I woke up once or twice throughout the night, but it wasn’t anything bad.”

“Have you been to a doctor about this?”

“What, the nightmares?”

“Yeah. I mean, they won’t let up, right? There’s gotta be something more to it.”

“They did for a little while,” Chanyeol says quietly. He’s fidgeting with the hem of his sweater, looking down at his lap. “Let up, I mean. I thought they had gone away.” Baekhyun snorts.

“Well, clearly not. Maybe there’s something you can do - I dunno, maybe like, sleeping meds or something? That could make them stop.”

Chanyeol laughs, but there isn’t much humor in it. He says, “I feel like it wouldn’t be that easy.”

Neither one of them says anything for a while after that, because Baekhyun just doesn’t know what to say. He wants to help, but he doesn’t know how. It’s almost scary how much his peace of mind relies on Chanyeol’s happiness.

“You know,” Chanyeol says, pulling him out of his thoughts, “they’re not as bad when I’m with you. When you let me stay the night, they hardly turn up. Only sometimes.”

Baekhyun’s response is instinct.

“You should move in.” Chanyeol’s head whips toward him, so fast Baekhyun almost wants to ask if his neck is okay. “What? We already spend so much time together, and I wouldn’t mind. If it helps you sleep better, I’d say it’s worth it.”

“Baek, you’re being too nice for your own good again … “

“No! I mean it, seriously. I mean, think about it - “ he pulls his eyes off the road for a moment to look Chanyeol full in the face, and the look in his eyes throws him off; they’re wide, surprised, but maybe also a little hopeful? There’s a light in them that makes Baekhyun want to do everything he can to preserve it.

“Um, I - Right, think about it. I have the space for an extra bed and all your things, we could both split the rent. I don’t know why I didn’t think of this sooner.” When Chanyeol doesn’t respond, opting to just stare at him, he starts to get nervous.

“That is, uh … if you don’t mind. I would get it if you prefer to live alone.”

“No, no, I - God, that’d be great, Baekhyun, I’d love that. But you’re sure you don’t mind? For real?” Baekhyun nods firmly, smiling a little.

“For real for real.”

“You’re actually my favorite person ever. You know that, right?” And  _ boom  _ \- Baekhyun’s heart slams itself against his ribcage. He nearly has to catch his breath before speaking again.

“It’s nothing … the least I could do, actually, for  _ my _ favorite person.”

Chanyeol’s smile is big enough to eat up his whole face. His eyes look like little crescent moons, sparkling. “So, we’re doing this?” Baekhyun’s chest folds in half.

“I guess we are.”

+

Baekhyun’s mom had practically jumped out of her skin when she saw Chanyeol standing with him at the front door. Reached out to hug and kiss him first, grab his face and tell him how  _ he only gets more and more handsome with every visit _ , tell him how happy she is to see him again. Baekhyun’s greeting was secondary, but he didn’t even really mind that much.

He didn’t think it was possible, but her face managed to light up even more when they told her about the moving situation.

“Oh, that’s wonderful!”

“We literally just decided on the car ride here, so nothing’s set in motion,” Baekhyun rushes to explain.

“I’m so happy for you two,” she gushes. “I figured this would happen eventually - everyone could see it coming a mile away - but now that you two are actually getting somewhere with your relationship, I’m just so - “

“Uh, Mom.”

“ - happy to hear it - “

“Mom, please.”

“ - Just be sure to invite us over for dinners! I trust Chanyeol will be able to fix your horrible taste in interior design - “

“ _ Mom _ .” He finally gets her to stop talking, and she looks at him like a deer caught in headlights. “This isn’t a marriage. We’re just going to be roommates.”

“Right,” Baekhyun’s dad laughs from the other room. “ _ Roommates _ .”

“Dad!”

Baekhyun is mortified - he isn’t being dramatic, he isn’t over-exaggerating. If anything, being mortified is a gross understatement. He can feel the heat spreading from his cheeks to his ears, down the back of his neck, and he almost jumps when Chanyeol laughs and throws an arm around his shoulders.

“Baekhyun and I are just friends, actually, that’s not changing Mrs. Byun.”

Baekhyun’s mom’s expression morphs into one of confusion, and she sits up with a knot forming between her brows. “Oh? But, I thought - “

Chanyeol laughs again, “I know, I’m as disappointed as you.”

Baekhyun chokes.

_ WhatthefuckohmyGodwhatdidhejustsay. _

Baekhyun’s no linguist, but there’s a clear implication to what Chanyeol just said, and he doesn’t want to overthink it but his heart is suddenly beating a thousand times a minute and his palms are slippery, wet, and Chanyeol can probably feel him burning through his shirt and -

“Hmm, alright.” Baekhyun’s mom relaxes, sipping her tea. “Well, no matter. You two just hang out and have a good time before worrying about all that - moving is a pain, but you live close enough as it is, so it shouldn’t be too bad. I’m going to get more tea.” She stands up and moves out of the living room, leaving Chanyeol and Baekhyun all alone.

“Your mom is hilarious,” he says.

“Yeah,” Baekhyun chuckles nervously. “She’s a riot.”

“You sounded so offended at the idea, though.”

“What?”

“Of us dating. You were like - “ Chanyeol tries to mimic Baekhyun’s expression, resembling something like  _ The Scream _ , and Baekhyun isn’t sure if he wants to laugh or cry.

“I wasn’t offended!”

“I’d hope not! Not to brag, but I’m kind of a catch, don’t you think?”

“W-Well, yeah, of course, definitely - but, like - “

Chanyeol laughs again, letting his arm slide back down to his side. He pats Baekhyun’s thigh. “I’m just messing with you, Baek, it’s fine. I just don’t see you get worked up like that very often.”

“You don’t?” Chanyeol shakes his head.

“You’re always so confident. Like, smooth.”  _ Now _ Baekhyun wants to laugh. He feels like a total human wreck every time they’re within ten feet of each other, and Chanyeol thinks he’s  _ smooth _ ?

“I’m literally not.”

“You’re gonna tell me you  _ don’t _ think of yourself as totally hot and amazing sometimes?”

“I do,” Baekhyun admits, and he doesn’t even try to act ashamed, “but I just don’t know how to conduct myself in certain situations.”

“Like what?”

“Like, uh, like.” He blanks. “Like, for example, if I like someone.”

“Uh-huh,” Chanyeol looks unconvinced. “Don’t you make it a point to flirt with anything that breathes every time we go out?”

“That’s different! That’s just for fun. But if I - if I  _ really _ like someone, you know? It doesn’t matter how I think of myself, I just get so caught up wondering what  _ they _ think of me.”

Chanyeol moves over a little and positions himself so he can look at Baekhyun better; the latter feels like he’s being put under a microscope, suddenly small and vulnerable. “Do you?” He blinks.

“Do I what?”

“Do you  _ really _ like someone?”

Out of nowhere - or, actually, the kitchen - comes Baekhyun’s mom again, and he’s never been so grateful to see one person. He’s still gaping, speechless, when she sits down and starts talking again, but now they’ve changed topics. He can’t help thinking that it’s  _ awfully _ convenient how his mom decided to take so long getting her tea, and then managed to pop back in at the perfect moment, but he’s too relieved to question it.

He doesn’t miss the lingering glances Chanyeol shoots him, though, and figures this’ll be a conversation for them to finish later.

+

“You never answered my question.”

“Hm. Your question? I don’t remember any question. Suddenly, I can’t remember a single thing from the last twenty-four hours.” Baekhyun knows he’s being annoying, but Chanyeol still has the decency to laugh. Not that he tries really hard to make it sound real.

“Okay, don’t talk to your best friend about your love life. I get it.”  _ Oof _ .

This is dangerous territory; there is nothing Baekhyun can think to say right now that would put him in a good position. Being on the brink of confessing his feelings to Chanyeol makes him kind of want to vomit.

“It’s not like that,” he sighs. Chanyeol fixes him in his line of sight, direct, and Baekhyun’s hands tighten on the wheel. He tries to act like he isn’t aware of how hard that stare is.

“I know you like the back of my own hand,” he says simply. He looks like he wants to say more.

“Go on.”

“I don’t think I can.”

_ Okay, weird.  _ He almost says it, but something about Chanyeol’s voice sounds fragile, vulnerable, and it knocks the air out of Baekhyun’s chest. “Okay. Okay, okay.” Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. This doesn’t feel totally okay, actually. “Later,” he says, and the agreement settles in the space between them. Later, they’ll talk about this. Whenever  _ later _ is.

+

Later turns out to be two weeks later, exactly, when Baekhyun is helping Chanyeol move all his shit into his apartment. He grunts, and Chanyeol laughs at him.

“Stop making those noises. You’re literally carrying a plant, it’s not heavy.”

“Why the hell  _ am _ I carrying a plant? Of all the junk you chose to get rid of before moving, this wasn’t one of them?”

“Actually, I have like, three more of those to transport.”

“ _ Ughhhh _ .”

“I couldn’t let go of them! I’ve spent months growing them, they’re my babies!” Baekhyun chances a glance at his friend, who’s in the middle of hauling a big crate of knicknacks up the stairs. He wants to  _ swoon _ , damn it. Swooning should be for sexy things, not cute, overgrown dorks who love their houseplants. He ends up placing the leafy thing by his front door, watching how Chanyeol fusses over the way he handled it.

This feels domestic. Baekhyun realizes that from tomorrow onwards he’ll be spending breakfasts with Chanyeol sitting next to him and he’ll be falling asleep every night with Chanyeol in the next room over.

“What are you thinking about?”

“This,” he says, honest. “Kind of crazy that we’re going to be living together after knowing each other for so long.”

Chanyeol echoes him, setting the crate down at the edge of his soon-to-be bedroom. “Yeah, it is. But it feels so natural, y’know? Like I couldn’t be living with anyone else.” Baekhyun chuckles nervously.

“Slow down there, cowboy. You’ll make my heart burst.”

But instead of the regular back-and-forth banter, something new happens; Chanyeol straightens himself and stares at Baekhyun. It’s not interrogative, but a gentle, tender look, and something in the air shifts. There’s static running down the length of Baekhyun’s arms, and he has to resist the urge to twitch.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Do you really want to hear me say it?”

No, yes, no, yes … no? “Yes?” Baekhyun answers. He’s scared, for some reason.

Chanyeol repeats what he said that day in the car, “Okay, well … I know you like the back of my own hand,” but this time, he continues. “I know everything from your favorite color to your worst fears. I know where there are freckles on your back, I’ve even spent time trying to count the little flecks of color in your eyes. I know exactly how the dips along your back, where your shoulder blades are, feel from all the times I’ve hugged you.

“And I know these things because I spend almost every minute of every day thinking about you. When I’m not having nightmares, I’m dreaming about you. When I’m not dreaming in sleep, I’m daydreaming, and it’s about you. Because there are things that I  _ want _ to know, but don’t yet, you know? Like - Like if I - “ he goes red, suddenly, and Baekhyun can practically hear the dry spot in his throat. “Like, how many kisses would it take to cover your entire face? Your neck, down to your shoulders,  _ everywhere _ .”

Baekhyun feels like he’s just been shot. A heart-shaped arrow hit him in the back a long time ago, but this is different - now there are bullet holes going through his chest, bleeding love and desperation. He’s desperate, desperate,  _ desperate _ to believe that this is real, that this isn’t just another dream of his.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I can feel the light in my eyes whenever I look at you. I guess I’m just waiting,” Chanyeol says softly. “I keep waiting, keep hoping that someday someone will look at me with that - with that  _ light _ inside their eyes. Like I’m the only person they’ve ever looked at in their whole life, because they really love me … maybe - maybe someday. I’d like it if that person was you.”

And that’s it, that’s the straw that breaks his back; Baekhyun can’t help the sudden scowl on his face from trembling. His fingers are shaking against his thighs and he wants  _ so badly _ for them to stop, for this to be a confident, passionate confession like he the ones he sees in the movies - but he isn’t confident, not nearly as much as he is passionate, and he’s scared. But he’s also so, so tired.

“Chanyeol.”

“Huh?”

“You are driving me fucking crazy.”

“Sorry. I know I shouldn’t have - ”

“Are you kidding me?” Baekhyun’s voice gets a little pitchy at the end as he works himself up, and Chanyeol stutter-blinks down at him. “You just - You really don’t see it, huh?  _ Someday? _ You want someone to look at you like that someday? Like they love you? Well, news flash! I’ve been here the whole time, looking at you like that for  _ years! _ ”

He starts pacing around the room, not able to contain his own energy, and pants a little. He can’t stop himself now, but he also refuses to meet Chanyeol’s eye.

“Like, I see you every goddamn day of my life, Chanyeol, and  _ every day _ I am so fucking grateful for that privilege. You are the funniest, kindest person I’ve ever met, and you make my heart feel like it’s flying in circles - and on top of it all,  _ you’re fucking gorgeous!  _ How are you gonna have the perfect personality  _ and _ face, huh? I’ve been head over heels for you for so long, and I’m not subtle about it, either. How are you going to say something like that when you’ve had it  _ right here _ this whole time? Holy fucking shit, you have to know this.”

It’s quiet for a long, long time, then.

Actually, it’s probably only quiet for a couple of seconds, but it feels like infinity to Baekhyun.

“ _ Well _ ,” he screeches a little. “Say something! Um, please.”

Chanyeol’s face looks like he just got done watching a lion tear a zebra to shreds - which is how Baekhyun feels, really. Like he’s the zebra.

“I want to kiss you so badly right now.”

“What.”

“I said I want to kiss you.”

Baekhyun is still thinking this might be a dream up until Chanyeol moves closer, closer, closer and puts his hands on his face. His palms feel warm, kind of sweaty, too, which would normally make Baekhyun feel gross, but right now there are too many fireworks in his chest going off for him to think about it. Their lips press together gently, and Baekhyun can  _ feel _ the real; the pressure is there, the atoms in his body are buzzing too loud for it to be an illusion. Chanyeol kisses him like he’s putting his whole heart into the touch.

It starts off slow, sweet. Baekhyun’s hands moving up to hold the back of Chanyeol’s head; he lets his fingers play with his hair, a subconscious, secondary act to everything going on with his mouth - and then it changes, just slightly.

The tenderness is still there, but Baekhyun gets greedy and starts pawing at Chanyeol’s shirt; he grabs the fabric in his fist and holds it tightly, pushing the boy against the back of his couch. He gets greedy, but Chanyeol gives into it, giving more and more, pulling Baekhyun’s body against his. They melt together until they’re one thing, one creature, twisting shamelessly in the dark behind Baekhyun’s closed eyes.

They break for a second to catch their breaths, and then Baekhyun is moving to the corner of his mouth, down along his jaw, his neck, until he’s at Chanyeol’s collarbone and the latter shivers. It isn’t until then that Baekhyun realizes Chanyeol’s hands have moved to his abdomen, pressing at the space beneath his ribcage, and he sucks in a breath that isn’t even there for him to catch.

Finally, he pushes away, panting. “Okay, okay, wait - is this real?” Chanyeol blinks at him. His lips are red and already a little swollen, to which Baekhyun can’t help feeling a twinge of pride in his gut.

“Of course it’s real.”

“I’m not dreaming?”

“No way. I don’t have dreams as good as this. I can’t believe I’ve liked you for like, a year, and this is finally happening.”

“A year! I’ve liked you for three!”

“We could’ve been kissing like this a year ago,” Chanyeol teases, and Baekhyun tries to glare at him. It doesn’t work, though, and he just ends up being trapped against Chanyeol’s lips again.

“I guess we’ll just have to make up for lost time,” he breathes against him. “It’s a good thing we live together, now.”

“And those nightmares won’t bother me so much anymore,” Chanyeol adds. “I’m thinking we just wasted a lot of time moving my own, separate bed in.” Baekhyun doesn’t even care about that - he’s just so  _ happy _ .

“Am I glowing?”

“You’re sweating.”

“No, I’m glowing. Holy shit.”

Chanyeol wraps his arms around Baekhyun and pulls them back together - not for a kiss, this time, but just to have each other there. And Baekhyun can’t help thinking.

Chanyeol is a rare person to come across, and being loved by someone so special was unthinkable up until a little bit ago. They let each other fall into orbit together, they pulled each other in - and Baekhyun could not be happier that it was him, him, him - Chanyeol, who he ended up with.


End file.
